The Beast Inside
by Kelly Cannon
Summary: Controlling his beast spirit was much harder than he could have ever imagined. After a tragic mistake while being BurningGreymon, Takuya hides himself away in isolation. Being alone was the only way to keep the others safe. Takuya drifts so far into depression that only one person is able to bring him out of it. Maybe going to just be a OneShot.


Takuya stared at the river flowing before him. The boy tried to recall how long he had been on his own since the accident. Weeks, probably. The days sped by, so he stopped counting a long time ago. It was just strange to him that he once had so many friends that cared for him. He deserved to be alone after what he had done. Loneliness was the punishment he bestowed upon himself.

He scooped up a handful of water and drank. The water was the cleanest he found since being on his own. Maybe he would make camp on the river for awhile. Long enough for him to find his way home. Before backing away, Takuya saw his reflection in the water. It started off as his dirtied face, but the reflection slowly morphed his features into those of BurningGreymon. Takuya yelled in anger as he slapped the water a few times. The reflection was gone.

Feeling the same pain return that he felt weeks ago, he gripped at his hair and pulled. Every time he was close to forgetting, that memory would return. It would forever haunt him until died. That final scream would forever be burned in his mind. The scream that brought his consciousness back. Takuya could still hear it clear as day.

He had no control of BurningGreymon, so it wasn't his fault. At least, that's what Koji kept telling him after he changed back to himself. Koji knew firsthand what it was like to not be in control. He was the only one that understood, according to Koji. Takuya knew better than that, though. The wolf boy never came close to what Takuya had done. His wolf was just tough to control and Koji was still aware of what was happening. BurningGreymon completely controlled Takuya, leaving him with no idea with what had happened until he changed back.

Zoe had a different reaction. Takuya could remember changing back to himself in time to see Zoe fall to her knees in tears. He didn't even know what he had done yet, but he had known it was his fault. The blonde screamed at him when he tried to reach out to her. The warrior of fire had done enough damage and she didn't want him near her. Not yet. Not after what he had done. He continued to reach for Zoe, but J.P. tackled him to the ground. She screamed again for J.P. to leave Takuya be, for there had been enough violence. The punches laid on him after Zoe tried to defend him were well deserved. Zoe tried her best to pull J.P. off, but J.P. was too strong. It was with the help of Koji that Takuya was freed from J.P.

J.P. was quick to tell him to leave after the accident. Takuya knew J.P. was happy to see him go, for he was always jealous of him. After all, J.P. was only concerned about impressing Zoe. The moment Takuya slipped up—a slip-up that would send him on a downward spiral—J.P. hopped on the chance to step up and be a leader. It was almost as if the accident didn't even matter. It was all about kicking Takuya out. With Takuya gone, J.P. would finally receive whatever attention he so desperately wanted. If J.P. had any sense of mourning in his body, the teen had a strange way of showing it. Takuya wasn't sure if anyone else could sense that, but J.P. never talked about the accident unless it included the words "Takuya has to leave."

Tommy would have been the one to defend Takuya as always. The young kid was an awesome friend like that. The kid didn't stand up for him that time. It wasn't like Tommy could anyways. He was buried wherever J.P. decided to put him in the ground. That is, if Tommy's body was still solid. Takuya had no way of knowing what happened to Tommy after he snapped his tiny neck. Once J.P. stopped beating him up, he glanced at Tommy's lifeless body and ran away. Koji eventually found him and brought him back to the group. Tommy's body wasn't there. The boy didn't ask in fear he would receive more hate.

The decision to leave was his choice. J.P. kept pushing it and Koji fought him about it. Takuya actually left during one of their disputes. He walked away from the camp fire and didn't look back. With his hands in his pockets, he treaded away from his friends. Zoe appeared in front of him before he walked too far. She gave him a hug, which surprised Takuya. The hug wasn't returned, but it didn't seem to bother Zoe. She, which was the first time she had spoken to him in days, had said, "Be safe. Come back to us soon. I can't stand to lose two."

The plan wasn't to return, but he never told Zoe that. Takuya needed to be alone for awhile before going home. All he needed to do was reflect in a sad attempt to climb over his massive mountain of guilt and sadness. He should have never taken BurningGreymon's spirit away from that possessed digimon. Shamanmon was in so much pain, though. Something had to be done. Takuya thought he would be helping everyone if he took the spirit away. If he had known how hard it was to control BurningGreymon, he would have never taken the burden. Life became full of "what if's" since he choked the life out of Tommy.

"Takuya, you have to stop doing this to yourself," a voice said, bringing him away from his memories. He covered his ears and shut his eyes, not wanting to see or hear who was standing next to him. Memories haunted him enough. The boy couldn't stand to have another way to be haunted.

"Go away! Just leave me alone!" he yelled into nothingness. It was so loud that his voice managed to echo all across the forest area. When the echoes ceased, Takuya opened his eyes in hopes that his visitor had gone away. Tears filled his eyes when he recognized Tommy. He picked up his hat off the ground and threw at Tommy. The hat went straight through the kid like he suspected it would. Takuya yelled again, "Go away! You're not real!"

"You have to go back. Your friends need you, Takuya," Tommy told him as he took a seat next to him. The kid took his hat off his head and set it on the ground. His shoes and socks were kicked off to the side. Tommy stretched his arms into the air before lying on his back. The water of the river touched his bare feet. "Though, I'd perfectly understand if you stayed here. It's peaceful and quiet."

"It's isolated. That's why I'm here. I can't go back…" Takuya couldn't believe he was talking to the imaginary boy. He was officially going crazy. It was well deserved. Takuya deserved to go mad for his actions. Before speaking again, he stretched like Tommy had but didn't lie down. "I can't co—"

"Can't control your beast spirit?" Tommy interrupted. The wind picked up and blew Tommy's hair around. His eyes shut, blocking hair from flying into his eyes. The kid was so relaxed for being dead. Without moving from his current position, he continued, "You've only used your beast spirit once. Koji couldn't control his beast spirit either."

"Koji didn't kill anyone!" his voice managed to say louder than anything else so far. Takuya noticed the black and blue bruising on his friend's neck. He really had done some damage. The wind managed to become cooler at the thought of what he had done to Tommy. The boy had tried to talk some sense into BurningGreymon. The action was so brave, but in the end it didn't matter. Tommy was dead while a monster like Takuya lived on.

"Koji was lucky. He very well could have, but was never given the chance. Stop comparing yourself to him or you'll just dig yourself deeper in a hole." Tommy rolled onto his side to face Takuya. Takuya turned his head away, but came to the conclusion that the ghost would not go away until he said what he needed to say. Tommy added on, "Plus, Koji is the only one that understands. He knows that he could have killed someone. Koji may be a stick in the mud a lot of times, but he was really reaching out to you before you left."

"Well, good for Koji! He has nothing to do with what I did."

"Zoe didn't want you to go either. She was upset at first, but she knows it wasn't _you_ that did it. You remember her saying goodbye. She was expecting you to return soon. It's almost been two months."

"I'm not going back. Not when I can ki—"

_Slap!_

Takuya held his face where Tommy slapped him. It wasn't real, but the pain sure felt real. He wondered how that could be, but it didn't matter. The slap knocked a bit of sense into him. Not much, but enough to start him on the right track. Takuya stuttered, "A-Alright… I'm listening."

"I know it wasn't _you _that killed me. If I thought that, I wouldn't be here. You are the best friend I ever had. You made the last part of my life so meaningful and fun. You gave me a reason to be brave. I know you remember how I stood up to you as BurningGreymon," Tommy started. He was now sitting up next to Takuya. His eyes were filled with tears, but a smile spread from ear to ear.

Takuya remembered. How could he forget? BurningGreymon had fought Beetlemon and easily defeated the digimon. Tommy ran in front of him yelling something that Takuya couldn't hear or remember. He saw Tommy as an enemy, so he snatched him up. The kid started crying and said something about how he was going to help Takuya through it. Takuya recalled Tommy's last words, "Please, this isn't you! You helped me when I was controlled by a nightmare, so let me help you. I'm your friend! We're all your friends. You don't want to hurt us, Takuya. I know you don't."

BurningGreymon was tired of the young boy. With one simple tightening of his fist, Tommy's neck was crushed. The shriek that escaped him before his neck was broke was something unheard of. That was what brought Takuya back. Shaking the memory from his mind, Takuya sighed to the imaginary Tommy, "Yeah, I remember."

"You taught me how to be brave like that. You changed me for the better."

"You're dead. You changed you for the worst," Takuya corrected the boy. A couple of tears spilled over, but he wiped them away before Tommy could see. He had to be strong for Tommy. Takuya owed him that much.

"And I lived a happy life. It was my time to go." Tommy snuggled close to Takuya. Takuya tried to wrap his arms around the boy, but his arms went straight through him. The feeling was weird, for Takuya could feel Tommy's presence. He just couldn't touch him. Tommy sighed, "Please stop being sad. I don't want you to be sad."

"How do you expect me to feel?" Takuya's voice hinted at anger, but he shut his eyes to quench it. Tommy didn't deserve his anger. It should be the other way around. Finding a calm center, Takuya continued, "You reminded me so much of my brother. I loved you like a little brother. Losing you, especially since it was by my hand, is the worst moment of my life. Did you expect me to be having the time of my life?"

"No, but I don't want you to be upset. Everything is okay now. Like I said, the last part of my life was amazing. Don't mourn me. Celebrate my memory." Tommy was all smiles again. He patted Takuya's pocket, for he knew what was there. Takuya pulled out Tommy's D-Tector to show the kid that he kept it. Tommy managed to somehow smile bigger. "You see that? Keep it. Forever have a piece of me with you."

Takuya nodded, not having words to say. Tommy was right. Sitting on his butt all day and being sad wasn't helping anybody. It was time to go back. He stood up and Tommy stood with him. The legendary warrior of fire picked up his hat and goggles and placed it back on his head. Takuya told the boy, "Thanks, Tommy. I have to find the others."

"They really need you. They need you and BurningGreymon."

"No!" Takuya quickly stated. He found peace with what he had done, but he was not at peace with BurningGreymon. That beast form was still an issue. He crossed his arms before saying, "I will never be BurningGreymon again. Not with three other people's lives at stake."

"You'll have to. There are enemies that you can only defeat as the beast," warned Tommy. He gripped onto Takuya's hand and pulled him a certain direction. Takuya wondered how Tommy could touch him, but he couldn't touch Tommy. It wasn't the time to question that, though. Tommy laughed and said like it was simple knowledge, "The only way to gain control is to become him again. You have to try eventually."

Takuya's head hung low as they walked. It wasn't going to happen. He swore to himself that he and BurningGreymon would not be one unless it was a desperate matter. Which even then… Takuya wasn't so sure if he'd be willing. He sighed to Tommy, "We'll see…"

"The others will be happy to see you again! I would be worried sick if you just up and left like that…" Tommy's voice trailed off and grew soft near the end. Takuya turned his head to say more something to Tommy about the others, but the kid was gone. The wind picked up when Tommy disappeared.

"Catch you later, buddy…" Takuya whispered, the heartbreak obvious. He almost slipped back into the same mindset as before, but he remembered Tommy's words. Celebrate life. The twelve-year-old gripped Tommy's D-Tector and smiled. The first true smile he had in a long time. He said with conviction in his voice, "You taught me something too, Tommy. You taught me to forgive."

With that said, Takuya began to backtrack his path over the past few weeks.


End file.
